Now what? Oh if only I knew.
Join the military -check.
Move to Georgia - check.
Substitute teach- check.
Start adoption process- check.
Brian does school- check
Get full time teaching job- NO check.
Come to a screeching halt.
So here we are feeling like we re in the right place at the right time. But what the heck are we supposed to be doing. Working right? But It seems as if constantly there is something trying to get Brian out of the military. Currently, his body has basically stopped making probiotics to break his food down which leads to weight gain. He has high blood sugar so his body may also have an insulin ( not diabetes) problem. Also leading to weight gain. Well not really weight gain but inches gained around the middle while losing lbs. Oh and his knee continues to get worse from hurting it in dive school, not better. So we pray that he doesn't get kicked out. Because he's doing school like he is supposed to. He just needs to get done, he just needs 15 months. Then by all means they can med board him out on account of his knee and we'll take the disability pay and be done. But not right now.
We are trying to get this homestudy done for the adoption process. Oh but wait the only way to have money for an adoption is if I make money. An adoption we want to happen so badly. I can't sub anymore. I can't start the job that technically I have because of paperwork issues. I can't get a full time teaching job. I can't even get a part time job. Even Wal Mart isn't hiring. So what the crap am I supposed to be doing? There was a plan and the plan isn't working. I find myself constantly asking Why? I'm trying so hard to not be grumpy or frustrated. In the most faithful, trying really hard to not be irritated or whiny way I pray to know what now, or why or something. I sigh and find it highly ironic that in January I decided this years scripture for the year was going to be Proverbs 3:5. Cause right now I really don't understand.
So everyday, I look for jobs. I remind myself that we moved from Cedar City to Salt Lake with no jobs. That I got hired 2 weeks before school started. That it has always worked out... That it will work out. We have a house. Brian has a job for now. We are doing what we are supposed to be doing...or at least we thought so.
2 comments:
I feel you. Every time something works out, it's always in a different way/time/place than I thought it was going to. Then I look back and can say, "oh THAT'S why it went the way it did." And as great as that is, it does not necessarily make the here and now easy.
Hang in there sister.
It is way hard when you have a plan and are left asking, "ok really what do you want me to do?" I pray for you. Love you!
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