Friday, September 30, 2011

...

This is another post about school, if you don't want to read about 5th graders you may leave now.

Today we read an article about a WWII era ship that was found 3 miles deep in the ocean with 250 million dollars of silver on it. The salvage company that found the wreak gets 80% of the money. After reading the article, each student wrote a paragraph about what they would do with 250 million dollars. I made a list of "average" prices for things like cars, houses, mansions, etc to give them an idea of how much they could afford. I was expecting to read and hear about buy video games and swimming pools and cars, maybe even some charity donations. MOST of the kids wrote about just that. Except for a couple of conversations: o
5th grade boy #1: "How much would it cost to buy a lady?"
Me: "....what do you mean?"
5gb1: "Like a girlfriend, a cute girl"
Me: "You can't buy a girl" (What I'm thinking is that would depend on how picky you are walking the Vegas strip...)
5gb1: "Why?"
Me: "It's illegal." (Except for in Vegas)
5gb1: "Why?"
Me: You can't own a person, and you can't pay someone to be your girlfriend.

Conversation #2:
5th grade girl: Can I buy an Australian Model?
Me: No, you can't buy a person in the United States
5th grade girl: But if he's Australian then it doesn't count
Me: Yes it does, you want someone to like you because of who you are not the money you have.
5th grade girl: Oh...

Conversation #3:
5th grade boy #2: Mrs. Harris, I want to buy a smokin' hot babe
Me: You can't but a girl, it is against the law!
5th grade boy#2: Can I bribe her to go out with me?
Me: No.
5gb2: But I want a smokin' hot babe.
Me: Then you'll have to get one without paying her to spend time with you.
5gb2: Well that's stupid.

This is the future. 10 year olds who think Prostitution is a GREAT idea. Sigh.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The workings of a 5th grade

So what do you do when in the middle of talking about Jamestown in 5th grade a student raises his hand and asks you what all the Indians and Kings will do in the 2nd coming? We can't have all those kings in charge and Indians have never seen a car and where will they live when they all come back to life?
What do you do when you class develops a black market? See we have class money, and they can use their class money at our class store, our auction at Christmas and the end of year carnival. BUT now they're using their class money to buy and sell things of their own: snacks, origami, etc. They think I don't know but I do. Do you view it as capitalism and decide that you can't shut down, you can't have a communist classroom right? But what if I really want to shut down their black market/entrepreneur endeavor? Does that make me a power hungry dictator, or just a control freak? Can I justify it as preventing fights and disagreements when someone wants a refund and the seller refuses?
Do you see the dilemmas I face daily? These are tough decisions...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Off-Track

Last year while teaching I always loved going off-track but after 3 weeks was always ready to go back. As this first off track of the new school year is almost over, I am NOT ready to go back at all. I actually have no desire to go back. This has been a fabulous off-track. I will give you the Reader's Digest version:
1: Park City: zipline and the new alpine slide
2: Seven Peaks Salt Lake (previously Raging Waters)
3: Crazy, Stupid, Love (good movie)
4: Slept in
5: Sat by the pool
6: Swam in the pool
7: Texas Rode House
8: Brian not working for a week
9: New shoes
10: Dyed hair
11: Charmed
12: Buffy
13: Cleaned house
14: Kept house clean
Again, I have no desire to go back to work. I also know that summer is quickly coming to a close, which means winter is on its way. I HATE winter! It is cold, dark, and depressing. Sure fall comes before winter and I like fall but it is too short. We did not get enough long summer days. Winter is taking over the calendar. November-April is 1/2 the calendar! GRRRR but on the bright side this was a great off-track and another one is only 9 weeks away.