Never Having Children

After this weekend I have vowed to never have children. I worked 8 hours yesterday and 8 hours today. We have 5 kids in 24 hour care right now... the 4 ages 3-8 are GREAT so cute and so well behaved. HOWEVER the one 1 year old not so great. It isn't her fault she has a cold. You can hear it when she breathes, plus she is getting 2 molars in one on each side her gums are huge and nothing seems to help. So she screams and fusses. She doesn't sleep through the night because of the pain and being sick so she is grumpy all day. She wants to be constantly held and sometimes still screams. I think to myself... I get to go home in a couple of hours but what if you were my kid and I couldn't go home and pass you off???? I would literally go crazy. I don't know how anyone does it. Seriously I HATE it when we have babies come in that are teething. And all babies do it, its not like my kids wouldn't. FINALLY I broke the rules I couldn't listen to her scream any more so I gave her infant tylenol and got 45 min of her sleeping to clean for the next person. We aren't supposed to give kids meds unless mom and dad bring it in with a note saying how much and how often. The problem is this baby is in state custody so no note from mom and dad for her. But she just kept screaming and shaking. And I was going CRAZY. I literally could not get her to be quiet for more than 5 min. So I have decided to never have kids. I have seen enough moms desperate and at their wits end. Enough overwhelmed moms who have disgusting houses because they are just too worn out to clean, and I do not do well when sleep deprived which is sort of how you live being a mom. I get grumpy and mean and completely irrational. so to avoid running the risk of being one of those moms I just won't have babies. We will adopt 3 year olds.

Panic Attack

So this afternoon (about 20 min ago) I went to the campus Wellness Center to make an appointment to get my Ritalin refilled. (Why they won't just do what every other Dr does and put on the prescription do not fill until... and give me 5 months at a time is beyond me). Anyway went to get my Ritalin only to find out that the Nurse Practicioner who can fill the Ritalin had a family emergency and will be gone ALL of next week. Problem I do not have enough Ritalin to get me through a week or even the weekend. The little Secretary did not believe me when I told her I could NOT function with out it. She just smiled that smile that says silly ADHD girl just deal. Except that I am NOT ADHD I am Narcoleptic and have class ALL DAY EVERYDAY... I seriously started to panic right there in the Wellness Center. They may as well have told me I had to have a shot. Just typing this tragic tale is making me shake and have difficulty breathing. Who knew that one little pill could have so much control. Now some of you may be saying to yourselves that I survived for 19 1/2 years I will survive 1 week. Except for 2 things... I slept through class ALOT and now that I am not used to being narcoleptic all the time I struggle with feeling constantly ill, shaky, and having killer headaches. Its going to be a long week. If you don't hear from me by the 16th I didn't survive...

Kelsey LEE Bills

Kelsey Lee Bills is a different person than Kelsey Rae Bills (now Harris). However the State Department of Licencing that runs background checks failed to realize that we are different people. Therefore when work went to run my background check like they do every year the BCI came back rejected. Kelsey Lee Bills was convicted of theft last September in Sandy. Meanwhile Kelsey Rae Bills was sitting in class in Cedar City counting the days til she got married. Thankfully by boss is still going to let me work while we sort through this mess. I had to go do finger prints. I have to write an offical statement, I have to send copies of my drivers licence, social security card, birth certifcate, marriage certifacte, a new BCI, and the fingerprint cards. All to prove that my middle name is Rae and I have not been convincted of theft...

Holding on by a thread

My poor laptop for 3 years it has be hauled to classes, work, roadtrips, etc. But he is tired and going much slower than he used to. He has requested that I have only 1 window open. Not a word document, music, and 4 tabs on the internet. He just can't keep up. I think he is grumpy. He used to be the smallest thing on the block now all the little ones are everywhere. I just keep telling him that he has a CD drive that they don't have. Sometimes that helps him keep going. I also remind him that I just need him to make it through 1 more year and not crash completly since he holds all of the documents for my portfolio. Hopefully he can hang in there.

The First Week

I have decided that part of college is that for 3 years I have been doing absolutly nothing of any value or anything hard. And now that I am 2 semesters from graduating and 1 semester from student teaching my professors have decided to make up for 3 years of nothing worthwhile. I have class for 8 hours on Monday and Wed. 4 hours on Tuesdays (Tues mornings are reserved for catch up and seminars etc). Thursday and Fridays we spend all day in the schools. In 3 days I got 6 6 page syllabi (plural for syllabus). Signed up for 8 group projects. Got assigned 150 pages of reading due next week and got student teaching papers to be filled out along with a resume and cover letter and signed up for practicum hours in the school (5 of us ended up in 6th grade in the middle school) Now for 3 years and in high school I have never done said assigned reading. Except now they have decided to hold us accountable. One professor gives quizzes, one makes us come with an activity for each chapter and questions to be turned in. The other we have to keep a journal. So I actually have to read. For 3 years I have had the "correct" format for a lesson plan drilled into my head. And now they don't care we can use whatever format we like. We have been told at least 30 times that classroom management is the key to success. So why for three years have I been taking classes that never touch classroom management ? Now we have 1 semeseter to do it all. I sort of feel like I am cramming for a major test. Except I didn't choose to procrastinate for this one... it just happened. As a side note sitting is the most exhausting thing in the world. To sit in class for so many hours makes me more tired than I have been in a long time. We didn't even do a full week. Monday was a half day and we don't start in the schools until next week. Its going to be a long semester. I picked the wrong time to give up diet coke.

Most of you out there have heard by story about coming back from a charity gold tournament which was really fun pretty much a free vacation. I even got to meet Sen. Hatch. Yes, I did drive the wrong direction, yes I did get pulled over for DUI and speeding, No I wasn't drunk. Yes I cried. Yes the cop knew my sister and drew me a map to her house. No I didn't get a ticket. But the most amazing part of this story to me. Is the fact that I drove from Cedar to Midway without falling asleep. I drove from Midway to Sandy and back to Midway without falling asleep. I drove from Midway to Manila (til 2:00 am) without falling asleep. And....(drumroll please) I drove from Manila to Cedar City without falling asleep. It took us 7 hours and I still didn't fall asleep! You all may be impressed.

Nothing to Blog About....

I haven't posted in awhile because I felt like I had nothing to blog about but as I have been reading others blogs I have decided to blog today about the many small and simple blessings in my life. While it is not my anniversary and I have not moved into a new house I am going to be all mushy gooshy today about all the tender mercies that seem to have been popping up since the last time I blogged. Like a sister in Las Vegas and one in Arizona who let me just talk and talk on the phone. Or a mother who calls the sister in Vegas to find out "what is wrong" with me and sends me an email with just what I needed to hear that day. Friends at work who will go shopping with me and get lunch with me. Old roommates who come to Cedar City before jetting off to China so we can hang out at least once a year :-). Or old roommates who forgive me for not calling yesterday because I got stuck at work. And lastly a husband who loves me. Who makes me dinner when I have been at work all day and haven't eaten when I get home at 9 o'clock at night. And brings me diet coke whenever I need it at work. And will let me be crazy and sometimes does things for me just because they are important to me even when he really doesn't want to.